Inspired from a song sang by Jaejoong in JYJ concert entitled ‘For You’ as well as the new song by JYJ, unofficial title ‘W, This isn’t goodbye’.
I suggest you to listen to the song ‘For You’ covers by Jaejoong in JYJ concert.
Note: this song is actually for Homin and Cassies but in this fiction, I personally relate it to Homin. Hope Cassies understand.
“This isn’t goodbye” (to Homin)
JAECHUN POV
From the couch where he sat alone, Yoochun noticed Jaejoong’s shoulder was shaking. A moment ago, he told Yoochun that he wanted to write a new song. He started to hum the melody he heard in his mind. With pen in his hand, he jotted down the lyrics words by words until it formed paragraphs by paragraphs. Even though Yoochun was listening to his iPod but he could still hear Jaejoong humming the melody. However, for the past 10 minutes, Yoochun no longer heard any hums from Jaejoong. It was a complete silent now. The only thing that he heard was a silent sobbing from Jaejoong. He could hear the older man tried his best to control his sobbing.
Jaejoong wasn’t aware that Yoochun could hear his crying. The pen that he used to write the lyrics was no longer in his hand. It dropped on the floor for a moment that he himself didn’t know how long it had passed. With tears falling unstoppable on his cheeks, he continued to stare blankly at the sky or to be exact, at a group of stars that drew itself into a letter ‘W’.
Without further delay, Yoochun took off his headphone and walked towards his hyung. He bended his body and placed his arms around the older man’s shoulder. No words came out from Jaejoong’s mouth. Only tears were seen moving from his precious eyes down to his cheeks. So, he kept the question that he thought of asking Jaejoong buried inside his mind. “Its better this way,” said Yoochun alone. He took Jaejoong’s left hand, held it close to his hyung chest and rested his head on the older man’s right shoulder.
He knew that deep inside of his hyung’s heart, this older man was crying over something. Something that only tears could tell the story. Yoochun remained silent. As he hugged Jaejoong, he could feel the coldness of his body. “You must have been in your own world for quite a long time hyung,” uttered Yoochun while adjusting his position. He now stood on his knees with arms still hugging his hyung. This time around, it was even tighter with hope that Jaejoong’s body temperature would risen.
Jaejoong was like a statue. He didn’t move even when Yoochun hugged him harder as if he will be taken from him any moments. He seemed to be lost in his own world. Yoochun eyes caught something. It was a piece of paper that Yoochun believed to be the new song that Jaejoong was working on. He looked at it and his eyes started to read every line written on the paper. The final line written by Jaejoong was ‘You will always be Our pride…’
Yoochun placed the paper back on the table and looked at the direction that Jaejoong was staring. He witnessed the stars that formed the letter ‘W’ in the sky. He registered the meaning of it and indeed it was true just like what was written by Jaejoong.
Late at night
The stars formed letters
I believe till today that it wasn’t a coincidence
In the same darkness at the same distance
Always drawing the W
Now, he understood why his hyung cried. “You’re missing them, aren’t you, hyung?” whispered Yoochun silently while wiping the older man’s tears. No answer came out from Jaejoong. Not even a nod from Jaejoong to approve his answer. The only answer was the sound of his sobbing echoed in the thin air.
“Hyung, I miss them too,” cried Yoochun. He embraced Jaejoong tighter. A single drop of tears from a guy who was known for being emotional now turned into unstoppable droplets. Yoochun knew how it felt to missing somebody. He experienced it before. One by one painful memories of him missing his mother and younger brother slowly recalled it back in his mind. Those feelings almost killed his dream of becoming what he is today but thanks to his members he gained back his strength especially to the guy that he hugged now. “Hyung, thank you for lending me your ears, for sharing me your shoulders for me to lean on whenever I feels like crying and for staying with me now,” whispered Yoochun slowly to Jaejoong’s ears.
Flashback
Jaejoong knew that Yoochun was the kind of person who kept everything to himself. He didn’t want other members to know that he had problems. Whenever he’s alone, he cried his heart out alone. Not known to him, Jaejoong noticed it.
“Yoochun, listen to this,” said Jaejoong as he plugged the headphone into his room mate’s ears. With his back facing Jaejoong, Yoochun listened to the song. It was a song entitled ‘Lean On Me’.
[p/s I couldn’t remember the original singer, so listen to the new version by Glee Cast…some of the lines say:
“Lean on me when you’re not strong,
And I’ll be your friends, I help you carry on,
For it wont be long till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on,
For no one can feel those of your needs that you won’t let show,
I just might have a problem that you understand,
It wont be long till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on”
From behind, Jaejoong could see Yoochun’s trembling shoulder. He knew that Yoochun was crying. He wanted to hug him but he couldn’t because he knew the best thing to do was to let him cry. “You can always lean on me,” whispered Jaejoong. After hearing it, Yoochun turned and hugged Jaejoong. Tears falling like a waterfall from his eyes causing Jaejoong’s back wet with Yoochun’s tears. “Thank you,” said Yoochun in between his sob.
……………………..
“I rely on him a lot. He came to visit me when I was sick and even stayed for the night. Leaving only after spending the night. He is someone that I can depend on that time. I’m really thankful to him. Hope this will continue, I have nothing more to ask for. He gives me strength,” said Yoochun honestly while looking at Jaejoong that sat next to him.
Taken from JaeChun couple talk in AADBSK2
End of flashback
In the cold silent night, two men were now crying. “If tears is the only way for us to tell them that we miss them like crazy then just let it be,” cried Yoochun. He looked at Jaejoong again. Still, there was no reply from the older man. In return, more tears came out from his eyes.
JAEJOONG POV
Yoochun’s sob finally hit Jaejoong consciousness. He is back to the real world. A world that he wanted to leave but couldn’t. He looked at the younger man next to him. His eyes were red and he didn’t know how long Yoochun was in that position. He tried to ask Yoochun to let go of his embrace but he couldn’t utter a single word. Seeing Yoochun’s teary eyes made his whole body paralyzed and remembering back the reason for his own tears made him even weaker. The stars that formed ‘W’ in the sky slowly faded away from his vision. Everything went blank. The last thing he heard was Yoochun’s voice calling for his name.
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